The Pipettes/ Earth Vs The Pipettes

The Pipettes
Earth VS The Pipettes
(Fortuna POP!)

This is the news! The Pippettes have announced their intention to invade planet earth with a record of cosy and uplifting disco numbers. Last night President Obama was said to be "watching the situation to see how it progresses", while satellite reports claim to have witnessed elements of luxurious funkiness and melodic matter approaching the planet's atmosphere.
Sir Patrick Moore was calling for calm this morning: "I concede that songs like 'Take A Little Time' have the power to affect humans with their kitsch but ultimately soulful grooves. However, to suggest that you'd react in any other way than to dance and perhaps have a slight giggle would be churlish."
According to NASA the album contains particles of '70s disco which could well stimulate young teenagers and perhaps even plant life. MI5 has put a warning out to hipsters who might experience negative reactions, however. In a press statement, the intelligence agency warned "readers of Pitchfork" to "stay inside as the record approaches our orbit."