Phantom Movie Guide Part Four

THE HILLS HAVE EYES
(1977)

I'm a massive zombie movie fan, and thus have a massive DVD collection worth auctioning. Although the "monsters" in The Hills Have Eyes aren't necessarily zombies, the film has a similar 'nowhere-to-hide' feeling creeping throughout - while the only human left on the planet fights inexplicably disfigured people.

This film's about discovering mankind's most inner vicious instinct and exploring the length's he'd go to to survive (whilst surrounded by horrific mutilated beings who want him for meat).

The remake of The Hills have Eyes' directed by Alexandre Aja, stayed true to the original with only a few minor changes in order to keep it contemporary - but let's face it, nothing beats the original. MWAH HA HA!

Nina, The Unkindness of Ravens

REN & STIMPY
HAUNTED HOUSE

Not a film in the strictest sense of the word, but so ridiculously good it deserves to be written about alongside the greats of the horror genre.

This particular episode was one of John Kricfalusi's last before he was kicked off the show, ostensibly having been deemed too extreme for the cartoon’s younger viewers. 'Haunted House' is certainly no exception to this rule. If you can, watch the unedited version, which retains in its full glory the 'bloody head fairy' scene, simultaneously terrifying and hilarious, and absolutely unforgettable to my eight year old self.

Also deleted was the ending transformation of the antagonist (a week-willed, droopy-voiced spectre) into a a rotund harp wielding black angel. God knows why. Another highlight is a loving homage to Psycho’s shower scene, in which Stimpy ends up using his assailant to “wash where the sun don’t shine”.

This episode is a perfect antidote to all the patronising, condescending children’s programming today. Kids SHOULD be scared. Kids SHOULD watch Candyman at the age of ten. Or Ren and Stimpy. Its up to them.

- Billy, Blue on Blue