The Futureheads’ Christmas Speech

‬‪Hi everyone! This is something of an alternative Queen's speech - not the band (unfortunately) but an approximation of how I'd deliver my Christmas day speech if I held a position of supposed authority due to some kind of anachronistic, self-imposed, culture of entitlement.

I'm not bitter. It's been a weird year. As Uncle Monty famously said, we've been "shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour" - and that was the 90's! Now we have it all to look forward to again. The public sector has been demonised, the banks have invested our money with no sense, the students are revolting (boom boom) and "Call me Dave" is on a path to big society.

Well, that's dreadful isn't it. On the plus side, we're having a little civil unrest - gotta show "the man" we don't have to like what he does. I'm into it. Obviously nobody wants to get violent or anything silly but hey, nice for someone to have a little conviction, eh Nick Clegg?

Anyway politics aside - bah! Our album 'The Chaos' came out this year which foretold the fighting on the streets, the madness that would overcome the country and us not winning the world cup, or even playing well (that last bit may not be true). We have to keep fighting the good fight though. There is hope for next year - albums from Frankie and the Heartstrings and Dutch Uncles are set to blow my tiny mind - never mind an "a cappella" album from the Futuremen. You heard me - easier to hear when there aren't any instruments playing over me. Ho ho ho.

Well that's about it. Good luck and good cheer to one and all. Happy holidays from the Futuremen. See you all in 2011!

-Jaff