Unwrapped: Crocodiles / ‘Groove Is In The Heart’

'Groove Is In The Heart' holds a "special" place for both us. When we were in middle school (we didn't know each other yet) we were both separate victims of the same rumor. You know how vicious children can be. Brandon was the first victim. The Dee-Lite song had just come out and some little jerk spread it around that he had spied through Brandon's living room window and seen him masturbating to the video.

This was completely impossible as Brandon's mother was working from home as a telemarketer and so all of Brandon's masturbation would have had to happen clandestinely, in the bathroom. Certainly not the living room, and certainly without a TV.

The rumor caught on like wild-fire and the same rumor ended up being spread about Charles, with some variation. According to the rumor-maker, Charles had been at a birthday party where MTV was on as background music for the kids to dance and eat potato chips to. 'Groove Is In The Heart' came on and, the rumor went, Charles generated a significant arousal. This was also impossible though, as Charles, then as now, was a master of concealment.

And so the rumor went. Both of us suffered innumerable catcalls of "groove is in the pants", "Look out, Boner Boy coming through!" and the like.

It all came to a head at the annual Spring Fling Dance. The dance floor was crowded and everyone; Brandon, Charles, the bullies, were enjoying themselves and for the most part minding their own business. Everyone was having so much fun, in fact, that it almost seemed like people had forgot about the vicious rumor. Forgotten, that is, until that iconic bass line came on.

Muffled laughs and looks soon turned into riotous laughter, pointing and jeering. The crowd started to back away from each of us individually until eventually we were the only two kids standing in the middle of a circle of laughing children. The song played out as both of us ran through the crowd, out the front door and down the street to the 7-11, where we discussed our plight over Slurpees and Pixie Stix and grew to become friends.

We added the California Girls bit into it because we were mega stoned.

- Crocodiles