Nier

Nier
PS3 – XBOX 360
Square Enix

The Good – Genuinely funny script – Hauntingly good music – Some interesting bosses
The Bad – Awful Graphics – Poor pacing – Archaic game mechanics

Nier has got to be one of the most frustrating games I have had to review, everything about it is shit, but for some reason there’s something about it that makes you want to like it.

Nier is ugly, not just the character that has a face only a mother could love, but the whole game looks awful, these are possibly some of the worst graphics you will see on the PS3 or 360. This Neanderthal’s daughter is sick with a disease called the black scrawl and Nier is trying to find a cure, the story is not abysmal but it’s nothing particularly amazing either, however be warned that Nier’s over the top deep booming voice will irritate you more and more as you progress through the game.



This is an action RPG and the gameplay mechanics are fairly basic, you have one button to slash a sword and the shoulder buttons are used for magic. You will acquire numerous magical powers along your journey but you’ll probably end up only using two or three of them. EXP points can be earned along the way but you’ll pay little attention to this, as levelling up has very little affect on the game and you will not even notice when Nier does level up. All the towns have very little character to them and in each town there are plenty of side quests you can take part in, these are all pretty boring find and fetch quests. For the first 2-3hrs you will find the game extremely dull, boring quests and poor pacing really make the first few hours drag. The enemies are dull entities called Shades and fighting them throughout the game will evoke very little emotion.

For all of these faults Nier does have many redeeming features, two characters in particular are quite amusing, Grimoire Weiss, a floating book, which is also the source of your magical powers, and Kaine, a foulmouthed wench dressed in revealing Ann Summers type lingerie. Some of the stuff that comes out of her mouth really makes you sit up and take notice, fighting one of the bosses she spouts out,’ I’m gonna rip your eyeballs out and piss in their sockets’. At times I wondered if the script writers were poking fun at the developers, one example is when wandering through the dessert and Weiss remarks,’ Why are there scorpions in the desert? It doesn’t matter they look more like shrimps anyway’. There are many genuinely laugh out loud moments when Weiss and Kaine are having their little spats. Some of the boss fights are good fun and the music is at times superb.



Overall Nier is a poorly made game with archaic gameplay mechanics. There are enjoyable moments, particularly the boss fights but what really saves the game is the interaction between Kaine and Weiss, (although this does all get sappy towards the end). Nier’s not going to win any awards, but if there were an award for most swearing before the game starts, Nier would win. As soon as you insert the disc you will be welcomed with Kaine shouting,’ Pull your head out of your goddamn ass and start fucking helping us’. If you like your action adventure games and can bare the terrible graphics and poor pacing, Nier may be worth a look.

6/10