Welcome to my World

Staying In For The Summer

Filed in Welcome to my World by Tom Artrocker at 11.24am on 31 August 10
Artrockers,
Going to Reading or Leeds? Take wellies and loads of black rubbish bags. Going somewhere else? Take wellies and loads of black rubbish bags Looks like we've had the last of summer doesn't it? You can't really complain though, June and July were amazing. Sure it's a shame that the weather turns nasty just as the kids break up for summer hols, but on the other hand it's been nice and quiet on the streets. A wet August means we aren't subjected to the annual crime-fest, tempers are maintained in the wet.
Personally I'll be spending the Bank Holiday at home, probably beneath the sheets. We've had a non-stop month here at Artrocker HQ redesigning, recreating, re-imagining the mag (all the details in next week's mailout) and it's left us all a bit weary. Well, it's left me weary anyway, my compadres are made of sterner stuff. Stern enough to spend the Bank Holiday in a very wet field? Probably.

Tom Artrocker
We Rock Like Music Journos Don’t

Filed in Welcome to my World at 11.55am on 20 August 10
Artrockers,
spare a thought for our designer Rich, the poor devil's been up all night putting the finishing touches to the all new, all singing, all dancing Artrocker Magazine. We don't usually drive him so hard but he's off to Green Man this weekend so several days work have been condensed into one, long, lonely night. You see, we Artrockers don't let re-designing an entire magazine interfere with our Rocking Duties, nothing takes precedent over our work at the Rock-Face. Did you know (and why should you?) that every member of the Artrocker Executive is a member of a gigging band? (In Rich's case about eight bands and counting). How many music magazines can you say that about? We're out there dealing with all the traumas that being in a band is heir to, just like the people we write about. This isn't an intellectual excercise for us, it's what we do, it's our life. To that extent I guess that Artrocker is the exact opposite of a fanzine, we're a musician-zine, we don't just talk the talk, we walk the walk, hand in hand with the musicians we write about, sharing nasty dressing rooms, hot rehearsal rooms, the joys of getting it right and the misery of a poorly attended Sunday evening gig in Stoke. We know how it feels to be let down by the record label, we've broken down on the way to Doncaster, we've been told to set the drums up in front of the main band's drums leaving us three
square feet of stage-space for the entire band, we've raced up the motorway only to be told there won't be time for a sound-check, we've lived on M&S sandwiches for weeks and we've been banned from hotel chains for kicking the ice-cube machine to death in the middle of the night.
We don't stand outside of the machine and compliment its curves, we've got the bonnet up and our hands are covered in oil.

Tom Artrocker
London SxSW?

Filed in Welcome to my World by Tom Artrocker at 11.17am on 12 August 10
Artrockers,
I've been running an eye over Ken Livingstone's plans for live music in London should the people of this great metropolis ever be crazy enough to vote tghe old Trot back into power as mayor. They break down thus; Live music is great. There's lots of Live music in London. It's a good thing. London should have its own SxSW.
Well I can't disagree with the first three points, who could?, it's stating the blindingly obvious. But a SxSW for London? Here's the point Ken, everyday in London is SxSW day. We don't need it to be coalesced into an event, we're not Austin, we're London for God's sake, and we live in a 365 day festival of music, it never ends, it attracts every band and artist from across the globe, all desperate to be acknowledged by the best informed, hardest to impress audience in the world. It's happening now, tomorrow and the day after, it never ends. If London was a dead-in-the-hole Texas town I might feel differently, but it isn't, it's London. So we don't need our own SxSW, we already have it, constantly.
But the most important message I have for Ken and all the other twats we like to call 'politicians' is "go away and leave us alone", the idea of 'rock-on the-rates' is anathema to rock'n'roll, the absolute opposite of what it's about, the dead hand of government must be resisted, it will kill us. We don't need your patronising bull, we don't need you at all, so take your piggy noses out of our affairs.
The one thing that politicians can do for Live music is to change the planning laws that threaten so many venues, and that is the one thing that Ken says he can't do anything about.
Thanks Ken.
Boris has nothing to say about Live music. That is how it should be, shut up, mind your own business, dig up all the roads by all means, but keep your meddling nonsense to yourself.
Trot or Tory - leave us alone.

Tom Artrocker
Frontmen

Filed in Welcome to my World by Tom Artrocker at 12.30pm on 06 August 10
Artrockers,
Three questions; What are the qualities that make a frontman*? Why is it that many musicians would rather stick their tongues in light sockets than be a frontman? And, is the frontman an endangered species? Once upon a time I was in a guitarist in a band, I hated it and vowed that if I was ever to be in a band again it would be as frontman, many years and even more bands later I've never considered being anything but the guy up-front. I don't think it's a desire in me to 'show-off' that drives my frontman tendency, or a belief that I'm some sort of genius entertainer - if I'm honest it's got more to do with being a leader, being in control. Even at Cubs it was true, I was never happy to be a simple trooper, I had to be a Sixer, when it came to sport I was happy that my friends were better at it than me so long as I was captain. When it came to Artrocker I had to be editor in chief, not for the glory (hah!) but because I need to feel that things are revolving around me, independent yet held in my orbit, like the frontman of a band. It's just the way I am. The temptation is to ask other frontmen about what drives them but, casting about, I discover that the concept of the frontman is out of fashion - here are four I can think of without straining my brain; Eddie Argos, Florence Welch, Julian Casablancas and Tobi O'Kandi (O Children). Then we get into the 'guitarist, bass player or even drummer (perish the thought) who is also the singer' category - this would appear to be the current trend, not one I'm keen on.Which leaves us the question: Why is it that many musicians would rather stick their tongues in light sockets than be a frontman? I'm not in a position to answer that one - can you?

Tom Artrocker

* I absolutely refuse to use the term 'frontperson' - but I'm certainly not excluding the ladies
Rock’n'Roll to The Rescue

Filed in Welcome to my World by Tom Artrocker at 12.17pm on 29 July 10
Artrockers,
when all else fails, when your gods desert you, when you know that there's always going to be another wonky haircutted bunch of public school boys playing the gap-year rocker card waiting 'round the corner with a demo that sounds like it was recorded in 1979 you might, like me, turn to the life saving restorer that is Rock'n'Roll. Of course we know that Rock'n'Roll will never die (copyright Neil Young), but occasionally it goes into hibernation, hiding from wonky haircuts probably. The last time Rock'n'Roll emerged from its sleep was 2001 and on that occasion it saved us not from wonky hair but from beards and the poorly played chin-stroke that was post-rock. Rock'n'Roll came to the rescue and saved our mortal souls, thanks to The White Stripes, Dirty Water Club, the Datsuns etc etc. And now we seem to have arrived at another impasse, bands that look and sound alike emerge from the shadows on an hourly basis, clogging the arteries of music. One response is the emergence of a new heavy scene in the form of Kong, Pulled About, Bo Ningen, Rollo, XM-3a etc (New Heavy Sounds) - and a damned fine response it is too, nothing wonky going on here that's for sure. And then there's Rock'n'Roll. Of course, one swallow does not a spring make, but how about two? My first exhibit is the new Jim Jones Review single - High Horse (watch it here on Artrocker.tv), backed up by Imelda May's Psycho. King Arthur and his knights sleep but will awake when Albion is threatened, Rock'n'Roll sleeps but wakes when there is threat to...Rock'n'Roll. Who knows where it might lead us this time, but one thing's for sure, en-route there'll be a visit to the barber's.

Tom Artrocker

PS see you young 'uns at Underage, and do join us on our new Facebook thingy. For all things new and heavy check out Paul's Artrocker Radio Podcast.