Brighton Rocks (rocky beach at least)

Artrockers,
Brighton's a funny old place isn't it? It holds a magnetic attraction for Londoners, be it day-trippers or re-locators, from The Prince Regent through the arrival of the railway (1841), taking on Graham Greene and Fatboy Slim en-route. 8 million tourists a year flock there for The Lanes and the shingle beach - mostly Londoners. It takes about 40 minutes by train from Victoria (unless you've had a few and manage to fall onto the stopping train by mistake, in which case that 40 minutes will become 4 hours and you will be introduced to every hole in the ground - or village - between here and there. And you'll meet a few of the inhabitants of those villages too, and you'll be amazed that they're generally even more drunk than you are!) - that's less time than it takes me to travel from home in Brixton to the Artrocker Office in Shoreditch...Which makes you think.
Brighton has its charms for sure...surely...it must have, but I've never been the biggest fan. What puts me off? Mainly it's the aforementioned shingle beach, call me old fashioned but if you can't make a sand castle it's not a proper beach, it is, in fact, a form of torture. From all directions come the shouts of 'Ouch!' as brave bathers negotiate the rocky terrain, and don't even think about taking a buggy to the beach, I've tried, and failed, baby being dumped head first as the wheels meet the rocks. Whoopsy! And then there's the parking - there isn't any, which is why, presumably, they now have the country's first and only Green MP.
But if, like us, you're heading down to Brighton for The Great Escape, the last thing you'll be worried about is the knobbly beach. What matters is that you know where The Artrocker Party is happening and who'll be making it swing - all the details are below or here.
Now, Hastings - that's a beach!

Tom Artrocker