Glasto Gels

Artrockers...
It has become custom at this time of year to detail why I won't be going to Glastonbury, which always makes me very unpopular with the event organisers, but this year I'll relent, largely because somebody already did it for me here. So this year I expect Neil McCormick will get the dead badger nailed to his door by the Eavis clan (or whatever it is those strange west country types do with their spare time when the cider runs out) instead of me. Ha Ha.
The Independent gets the boot in too: '...expertly policed, conspicuously middle-class affairs awash with cash machines, phone-charging booths and organic food and with all the rebellious spirit of the Proms.'
The Guardian has Paul Morley interviewing La Roux on the subject in which she states that when told that they shouldn't go to Glastonbury her sister 'and the whole year' at Pimlico School went anyway. Well Ellie, as somebody with links to that school I can categorically assure you that 'the whole year' did not go to Glastonbury, only the middle-class ones...inbibing the rebelious spirit of the Proms.
Even The Daily Mail is in on the act: 'In Hunter wellies and Top Shop frocks, the middle-class gels do Glastonbury'. That's you that is Ellie.
So there you go, the Papers have done the job for me this year, I don't have to say a word, just stand over here and quietly enjoy the rest of the media landing the punches. Looks like they'll have to find a job-lot of badgers, doors for the nailing to this year. But not my door, not this year.

Tom Artrocker

STOP PRESS: This hot news just in courtesy of nme.com: 'Emily Eavis live from the Glastonbury: It's filling up'. Which has to be the definition of stating the bloody obvious, what's next, 'Live from Glastonbury: People are sleeping in tents'?